Four-hundred and twenty ways to die

Hit one, I have risen. To where, I don't know. A place beyond the rules of reality. A place where I may rest my head. I was young, once; I loved, once; I hoped, once. I am stuck in a young body yet I have an old soul. I wing my eyeliner, I long to serve you a beer after you get home from a long day at work. I wish to stay at home with an apron on, living in sweet bliss.
Take me back to the days of secretive hits in the van. Of party trains and pills I didn't care to question. Take me back to irresponsibility, back to shenanigans. Back when I was on birth control.
I am a young woman with the soul of an old woman. I want a baby. I want a family. I cannot have everything I wish for.
The rivers run red with the blood of lost dreams. I gave up everything I knew. I changed the woman I once was for you. I don't know who I am anymore and that fucking scares me. Quiet, reserved, and caged I am now. And you are my everything, you've fucked up my world.
Take me back to sixteen going on seventeen. When I was young with a sparkle in my eye. Before the pot, before the whisky, before cigarettes, before moonlight, before you, before love, before molly. Before anything that had become important was ever important.
I have a whole new world of perfect now.
And I am four-hundred and twenty changes away from absolute death, my love.

04.17.13

Is this what you had meant?
When you left me at the crossroads?
Without a dime, without a direction.
Without you I am lost.

What I said, I never meant.
Our love at the crossroads.
"This is going in the wrong direction."
Don't tell me our love is lost.